Worn out

Worn out
But I still reign

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Number ONE...(sorta)

Im so tired of nOT beInG...
nUMBER oNE...#1..(1)
...And so sick of bEiNG...
Number Two
#2
(2)
Second Best
Runner Up
Next in line
Almost there
Just about
As good as
Consolation Prize
Subtitle
Parenthesis
Second Chance
A Stand By
A Proxy
A Repeat
Just Like
Kinda,Sorta
Youlle Do
Twins
Over The Hill
Ex
Reminder Of
A Tad Of
Arent You?...



The WorsEsT

I used to think that
If you loved somebody and
They didnt love you back
Was the WoRSe thing to ever
Experience...
I thought nothing else could
Compare
But...
Ive come to realize
There are actually tWO things
That are the
WoRSe...
The above mentioned, and
The feeling of NoT fITtIng in
Not being a part of...
Excluded
Being in a family
But...
Being Not OF the family...
Feeling the SePAraTion
The barrier 
That holds you back , though
Youve tried to jump over it
Go under it, Tear it down
Make your way through it...
The Barrier is there
You feel it, you see it
Daily
Hourly
Minute by minute...
The WorSEsT...


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Less Fortunates

Sunday I went to church
With my dad and my brother
We sat in the back row and I 
Sat in between the two
About twenty minutes into the lesson
My dad nudged me and with
His eyes he led my gaze downward
His legs were crossed and his
Right sock and bit of his leg were exposed
He tapped his sock with his hand
And I took notice
Well, the top of his sock was snagged and
Had torn a little hole into it
So after I looked at his sad old torn up socks
I tapped my own leg so he would look
And I had on a long dress and shoes
But no socks
So who was really the less fortunate?
I looked up at him and he looked at me and
We both just cracked up laughing!
If he thought he was gonna get a 
Pity party 
He thought hella wrong!!

Monday, August 18, 2014

Worrying... and shit!

I hate to worry.
Worrying is a state of mind that is not contained...
Worry looks out thru your eyes and shakes up
Your pupils
You can avert your gaze  but
To no avail
Not content with plagueing your mind and
Spewing out your eyes
Worry will obstruct your voluntary movements
Where you should be sitting
Worry has you standing
Where you should be standing
Worry has you pacing
Where you should be quiet
Worry has you tick-tick-ticking a pencil
On the table top
Where you should be laughing
Worry has you sighing
Where you should be calm
Worry has you on spin dry
I hate to worry.









Tuesday, August 5, 2014

What do you do when a boy follows you?...

What do you do
When a boy follows you?
You shoo him away and
He just stands there, at bay?
You punish and scold
Yet, he does NOT what hes told...

What do you do
When a boy follows you?
When youre out late at night
And he never leaves your sight?
You light up a smoke
Then, he takes a toke
When you uncork your wine
And he favors that kind...

What do you do
When a boy follows you?
You go grab you a beer
While HIS chills in the rear?
When you pull out some bills
While hes striking up deals?
Youve got money to score
But, with HIS ten, youlle get more...

What do you do
When a boy follows you?
It seems sudden and quick!
How the two of you click
And you cant understand
How hes gotten outta hand
"Understands" come too late
Youve but sealed his fate
Its all downhill from there
And its YOUR cross to bear
Youre no longer his mother...
For hes become your own brother!...

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Friday, August 1, 2014

OMG!...Im FAT!

Every month that has passed me by
This year
Has dropped off ten pounds to me
Against my will
Most of the time Im unawares of it
Its as if you arent expecting a package from FedEx
So youre not anticipating its arrival
Then, one day you open your front door to go out
BAM!!...there it is. Unexpected. Never realizing it
Was on its way
These miserable pounds came just like that!
I wish I could return them 
I wish I had a choice in accepting them
I didnt
Now that seven months have passed me by
In which I was steadily gaining pound after pound
I have had to accept that my size threes and fives
Are history
Its sad. Its ugly. Its depressing.
Thank God for oversized shirts and pajama pants!
This isnt me so I know eventually the weight will come off
But, I hate the fact that I had curled up so much inside myself
I didnt notice what I was doing to myself
And now I gotta fix it
And its harder now at my age
I know this sounds so petty, but ,be it that, 
Its a big deal to me.