Marillyn Monroe

Marillyn Monroe

Friday, November 14, 2014

Special Bond

When I was born
My sister was in the eigth grade.
She was at school when she got word that she had
A new baby sister.
She cried and cried. She was overwhelmed with joy.
From that day until now, so many years have
The bond that formed between us when I was born
Has only gotten stronger.
When I was a child I looked to her as a mother.
When she married and moved away
I couldnt stop crying. 
Although she lived far away and had a full time job 
Plus three kids of her own and a Monster for a husband
She still never neglected me.
Summer after summer she would pick me up to 
Stay with her for a few weeks at a time.
As a teen, as a young woman, even as a married woman,
Myself, I still would go stay with her for the 
Weekend or what have you.
My sister has accomplished alot of things in life
Shes had to face alot of heartache and misery too
But, shes always come out victorious!
My Birthday is Sunday
My sister wanted to be the first one to celebrate it with me
So, she came Wednesday and her and my dad and I
Went out on the town!
We had a blast!
I dont think there are many women out there who have the sort of
Bond we do.
I thank God because my mother is gone and yet I dont feel 
That great a loss  because my sister is still a mother figure for me.
Without her I dont know where I would be.
I love her very much.

Monday, November 10, 2014

my weekend...really.

I thought I would blog about my weekend.
This weekend that just passed...
Today is Monday, November 10th, 2014
Well, Saturday I woke up and literally jumped out of bed!
It was like 7:15am
I had planned all week to have a yard sale this day, so 
Anticipating early birds, I ran outside and hurriedly set up my tables
The hanger for the clothing, and such..
It was all out there in the driveway.
I got a coffee and my mp3 player and sat out there
And more waiting...
Would you belive it? Not a fkn car even passed down my street!
Not even a fkn drug addict with a backpack passed by on a bike!
Not even a lady pushing a baby stroller with a kid that had outgrown it
Passed by!
I went out to the street and looked up and down
Where was everybody?
It was already after 8am!
Not even my dam neighbors came, or even looked out their windows (as usual)
I sat on my front steps looking like an idiot.
At around 9am I threw in the towel!!
Disgusted, I tossed all my goods into boxes and tossed the boxes aside.
I spent the rest of my Saturday doing my usual household chores.
In the evening my BF's family gathered here for his mothers 87th Birthday.
We all ate and had cake and then I went to bed. Hooray.
Sunday started out with an argument between my BF and myself. 
Later on, anticipating the Nascar race on TV, I fixed my bed and gathered 
Snacks, and got cozy to watch the race. 
After, I watched a scarey movie on DVD and then went to 
Walmart for some things I needed.
We stopped at Mcdonalds, and then came home.
Thats the jist of my weekend. Exciting? not really. Just normal.
This is the WHY of Why I dont blog about my life.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Falling to pieces

Im falling to pieces
 One at a time
Theres nothing that eases
 This journey of mine.

I hear the drop!
 I carry the weight
Im helpless to stop
 This heartache of Fate.

Theres pain in the fall
 The happiness...gone
Just a crumbling wall
 My heart sat upon...

Im reduced now to nothing
 A mere pile ...a mess
At one time was something
 Full of beauty and zest.

To remember my smile
 If anyone does
Is to think of the pile...
 Of something that was.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Bachelor Pad

I went to my Dads house
The house I grew up in, got married from
And returned to after my divorce.
All of my memories were gone.
Thank God I had put some away in storage.
Everything had changed.
Amidst all the dust
Where the blue recliner sat tattered in the corner
Stood a treadmill
Where my twin size bed lay
Sat a big fat futon
The dining room table wasnt donned with a lacey or floral
It had been taken over by stacks of papers and bills
Lunch boxes and a bowl with brown spotted apples
And almost black bananas
Where was the raisin bread?
Where was the dam breadbox for that matter??!
Floral arrangments were replaced by
Baseball caps and bobble heads
Even the PineSol scent was gone...
Replaced with old man odors and fart remnants!
What happened? I asked myself
My 86 year old Dad was now roommates with
My 24 year old son...
THAT Happened!...
My cozy little house was now a
Bachelor Pad.
One of them BETTER get married soon!.

Monday, October 27, 2014

I know, I know

I know more than anyone
Its time for me to say Im done.

What has died is just deader
Everyday is none the better.

Even if I gave my best
I am destined to fail this test.

When it goes its really gone
Theres no love to draw upon.

You can tell your own self lies
Make excuses and alibis.

You can even play the part
And ignore your aching heart.

But only you know when its time
Silently youlle hear the chime.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Baby Birthday Boy

Today, October 24th , is my baby boys birthday.
Except hes not a baby anymore. Hes a man.
Its quite incredible to realize how many years have just flown by
From the time he was born.
Im so proud of him and so happy I was chosen by God
To be his Mother.
To my own parents, he was their son. It remains that way still.
They helped me raise him, and theyd take over where id left
Off when I was on drug binges.
My mom is gone now but my dad is still there for him and
With him.
My dad would be lost without him. 
My three sons were always special to my parents.
They were the Favorites. Still are.
The day Spenser came into the world was unexpected.
I always had to have emergency c-sections when it came to
I can still remember how happy I was, crying from the love
I instantly felt for him when the Doctor pulled him out
Then came around the barrier that was up between my face and my 
Body, and said "you have a beautiful baby boy, and hes got
The cutest "button-nose!"
Spenser let out a wail and I kissed him.
Over the years hes gotten more and more handsome.
I hope to one day tell this story to his own son.
I love my Spenser and hope he has a great Birthday.
Without him, my life would worthless. 
Happy Birthday Son.                     

Monday, October 20, 2014

Their Uncle

My sons have a huge family on their fathers side
Although its huge, they are all very close.
Although theyre all in different areas of the US
They come together for everything...
Reunions, Birthdays, Weddings, Holidays, etc...
They really are a type of family to be envied
If a large closeknit family is what you want or wish for.
A death in the family is like a death OF the family.
Today my dad told me that one of my sons uncles
Was diagnosed with cancer. They supposedly had
Given him 6 months to live.
An hour after talking to my dad, he called to tell me
Their uncle had just died.
Its unbelievable. Im like in a fog about it.
I havent been in that family for many many years
But, they are my sons family.
This uncle of theirs was a "life of the party"
And the party never ended...
He was loud and funny and blunt and crazy  and 
Just a fun loving soul.
Many many years ago, when my oldest son was born 
He came to me and said, "you know sis, next baby you have
I want you to name him Jules-Gaspar-DeStone"
I said, "What the hell?" "Why?"
He just stared at me for a minute with this dumbass
Grin and said, "Because I love that name!!"
So, I said, "ok, whatever"
I never forgot that.
When my oldest son got married, this uncle of his
Came over and gave me a bear hug.
I told him, "hey, remember that stupid ass name you 
Wanted me to name my next child?"
And together he and I both said, simutaneously...
And we cracked up laughing!!
That was the last time I ever spoke to him or saw him.
Now today hes gone.
He left behind alot of funny stories and sad hearts.
R.I.P. Bobby